


Cat and Canary

by WaltherP420



Series: mean luzeni series (placeholder name) [2]
Category: Lupin III
Genre: Developing Relationship, Explicit Language, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaltherP420/pseuds/WaltherP420
Summary: Every other time Lupin had cuffed Zenigata to a bicycle rack or telephone pole he had only stayed around long enough to taunt Zenigata with a couple of jabs before running off. This time, however, Lupin had briefly peeked around the end of the alley they were in to make sure no one had followed before walking back up to stand in front of Zenigata. Staring up at him. Smiling.The break in protocol made Zenigata uneasy.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi
Series: mean luzeni series (placeholder name) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188485
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Cat and Canary

**Author's Note:**

> Happy luzeni day!!!!!

Zenigata had spent his entire life up to this moment working to sharpen his mind and strengthen his body. He didn't do so for vanity or even for the reward of self-improvement for its own sake. It was all strictly in pursuit of his career. On top of that, after having chased Lupin III for a few years, he now spent all of the time when he _wasn't_ in direct pursuit of Lupin, who had _become_ his career, training even harder, learning more, studying more, getting even stronger, even faster, after already growing up pretty strong and pretty fast.

But none of it seemed to be doing much good.

By this point Zenigata knew, he was _painfully_ aware, that it didn't matter how fast you were if you were always spun out onto a wild goose chase. It didn't matter how strong you were if your target slipped right out of your arms every time. You can suffer and train and incrementally build your strength and your speed for fistfights and foot chases but you can't do anything to make yourself as sharp and quick as the world's greatest thief. There was just something innate in Lupin that Zenigata could never mirror, could never seem to catch up to. But Zenigata craved challenge and craved purpose so deeply that any normal quarry would have been immediately boring and unfulfilling. That often frustrating, unpredictable quality was also what made Lupin so _fun_ , what drove Zenigata to keep training and chasing anyway, gave him his life's purpose.

Though Zenigata wouldn't call his current situation "fun".

Spending hours designing shiny new cuffs with complex interlocking mechanisms was something Zenigata took pride in, but the hobby was starting to feel like a waste of time when every new set just ended up sliced in half, effortlessly unlocked and flung out the Fiat window, or, most embarrassingly (and lately most often), clicked around Zenigata's own wrists. And this was another one of the latter, Zenigata's hands cuffed up above his head and looped through strong wrought iron fencing, handcuff key in a jacket pocket well out of reach, backup well behind after he'd been the only one to notice Lupin splitting off and tailing him on foot, over dumpsters and through back alleys and further and further away from help.

In hindsight of course Lupin had lured him away deliberately. Of fucking course Zenigata had been predictably blinded by the exhilaration of his chase. Maybe one day Zenigata would catch onto Lupin's tricks or lies or misdirections before it was too late. Doubtful, but there wasn't another option except to hold out hope that _one day_ he wouldn't be so easy to read and manipulate. Easy to be toyed with and played for an idiot.

This one was new, though.

Every other time Lupin had cuffed Zenigata to a bicycle rack or telephone pole he had only stayed around long enough to taunt Zenigata with a couple of jabs before running off. This time, however, Lupin had briefly peeked around the end of the alley they were in to make sure no one had followed before walking back up to stand in front of Zenigata. Staring up at him. _Smiling_.

The break in protocol made Zenigata uneasy. Or maybe it was the expression on Lupin's face. Lupin's smile was warm but his posture was smug- cocky after such an easy victory- and his eyes had a mischievous gleam that read as near-predatory given the fact that they were sparkling at a man who could not move or get away. By this point and after an initial rough start Zenigata had grown to trust Lupin to never seriously hurt him or do anything untoward, but that hesitancy and care didn't extend to not hurting Zenigata's pride. If working out and designing new cuffs were hobbies of Zenigata's, then "playfully" bullying Zenigata for his own amusement was one of Lupin's. Maybe it made his top three, right under stealing and being a perpetual sex maniac.

Those eyes looked Zenigata up and down with the same expression Lupin wore when looking through a glass case at some gem or work of art in a museum. It was an unsubtle look of appraisal and greed right before effortlessly disabling defenses and snatching what he came for. It made Zenigata feel terribly uncomfortable and exposed. 

Zenigata was awful at hiding his feelings even when he wasn't strung up for display on a rusty old fence and the look of appraisal wasn't helping, no matter how approving or appreciative. It just made Zenigata feel like another piece for Lupin's collection. And while, say, a butterfly collector might love and admire their collection, handle them gently and so deliberately and with care, each piece was still killed in a jar before being stuck through the middle with a pin. Quiet and terrifying moments like these forced Zenigata to reflect on his relationship with Lupin and how little control he had over it, how Lupin zeroed in on Zenigata's feelings for him and used them as another tool in his arsenal. And just because Zenigata knew Lupin wouldn't ever damage him _deliberately,_ it didn't mean he wasn't feeling very uncomfortable, very _stuck through_.

"I've been wanting to talk to you," said Lupin airily, a couple of feet in front of Zenigata, as if they were having the most casual conversation in the world.

"About _what_?" asked Zenigata, curt, trying to channel the fear lurking in his gut into irritation, annoyance, or maybe his go-to, anger.

He just didn't want it to show as _fear_.

"I wanted to say I appreciate you," started Lupin, so sweetly, taking a step closer, gazing right up at Zenigata's face.

Zenigata could feel himself starting to sweat and hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His wide eyes moved rapidly, searching Lupin's expression as Lupin kept talking.

"I know we run you awfully hard, Zenigata, but I hope you know we care about you and that it's all in good fun. Right?"

Zenigata was baffled. He was terrified, searching desperately for the trick, for the moment Lupin would spring the trap shut. 

But he was already trapped! They'd already pulled one over on him earlier, switched out the painting for a fake before he'd even noticed, and Fujiko was miles away with the real one before the group had even been spotted by Zenigata. 

So no matter how he scrutinized Lupin's expression and body language, no matter how much he turned the situation over in his head, there was no point Zenigata could discern to Lupin stalling or distracting him right now. The treasure was long gone and Lupin had made a clear exit the second he'd cuffed him.

The Great Lupin III had won out over his rival the same way he always won out in the end.

So what in the hell was the game here?

"I just wanted to make sure you knew that," said Lupin softly. 

_Why was he doing this_?

"But I never get a chance to thank you because you're always running around and screaming and throwing cuffs. Like if you stop moving you'll die or something," said Lupin, chuckling. "It's tremendously endearing but not very conducive to a heart-to-heart."

Zenigata shifted his weight and pulled at the cuffs reflexively but of course he knew there was no give and nowhere to go. He also knew his face was flushed and he was well past the point now of hoping to disguise his fear and confusion.

"So after I figured out how easy it was to keep you where I wanted you for a little while, I figured I'd use that as an opportunity to slow you down. Temporarily, I know, nobody can keep ICPO's Inspector Zenigata in one place for _too_ long, but-"

"Give it a fucking rest, Lupin," said Zenigata, his voice strained, trying to stop whatever was happening from playing out. "You didn't need to trap me here to gloat. It's overkill."

Zenigata then paused and frowned.

"Or was humiliating me back at the museum not enough for one day?"

Lupin's face was the portrait of innocence, hurt at the very suggestion he'd ever be so cruel. 

"You're fun to tease for sure, Zenigata, but I'm not teasing you now."

Zenigata immediately responded with a disgusted, annoyed, and incredulous face, and before he could even open his mouth Lupin interrupted with an, "Okay, okay, _technically_ this counts as teasing, but I do genuinely want to talk to you! If I just wanted to tease you I would have brought my permanent marker along like last time. Your big gorilla mug makes for a fantastic canvas, you know."

He reached up and gently pinched Zenigata's cheek.

"Very inspiring to a fine artist such as myself!" 

Eyes still fond but with a smug, toothy grin, Lupin let his fingertips brush against Zenigata's face for just a moment before dropping them back down at his side.

The fond look on Lupin's face alone was too much for Zenigata, truly, and that in combination with the physical contact had felt like it might just kill him.

Just because Zenigata wasn't as lightning-quick as Lupin didn't mean he was stupid or that he didn't understand the imbalanced machinations of their strange relationship. He knew Lupin had long ago clocked his soft spots, his pressure points, how to deftly lead and play him. Most alarming of all was the fact that Lupin had clocked Zenigata's feelings for him almost before Zenigata himself had recognized them. Lupin was _that_ good. Or maybe Zenigata was just _that_ bad at hiding it, that bad at understanding himself even if he was an open book to others.

"As I was saying," said Lupin, "I wanted an opportunity to talk to you for a second without you running around yelling or cuffing me or _interrupting_ me."

Zenigata scowled but figured he'd rather Lupin just get it over with, whatever "it" was. So he kept his mouth shut.

"I wanted to talk about our, uh," Lupin said, eyes avoiding Zenigata's, hand dramatically gesticulating like he was searching for the right phrase, "our whatever you want to call it. Our dynamic, our rivalry,"

Lupin paused and actually looked hesitant, almost nervous, even, as he reached up and tugged gently at Zenigata's tie clip. Then he held onto it like it was a little anchor and his eyes drifted back up to meet Zenigata's again.

"Our, uh, _relationship_?" he asked more than said, hand still gently gripping the tie clip just below Zenigata's chest, maintaining his desperate little point of contact in what seemed like a rare moment of vulnerability.

Whatever Lupin was doing, it was sending Zenigata's fight or flight into overdrive, heart pounding so hard in his chest that Lupin's hand could probably feel it. But because Zenigata couldn't run away from or punch anything at the moment, he was forced to stand there and look down into that face of the man he was so obsessed with, the man he cared so much about, and stand frozen with no fucking clue as to whether what was happening was real or just a setup or a ploy or some kind of fucked up little game.

Maybe Jigen and the others were hiding within earshot and were prepped to delight in whatever embarrassing heartfelt confession Lupin was trying to tug out of Zenigata with his display. If this was just a cruel joke, it wouldn't be the first time Lupin and his friends had a laugh at Zenigata's expense, and it probably wouldn't be the last, either.

Lupin just kept looking up at him expectantly.

In response Zenigata was trying again to look tough and disinterested, imagining himself smoothly saying something like, " _Oh, a 'relationship'? Getting a little ahead of yourself there, Lupin? What makes you think I'd ever wanna sink so low, huh?_ " and giving Lupin a taste of his own medicine, but he knew that was just a fantasy as much as he knew his face was flushed and that he just looked scared and cornered and confused.

The lack of response seemed to be getting to Lupin. He tightened his grip for a moment then let his hand fall. He then looked away briefly and shoved both hands in his pants pockets, his face forming itself back into the portrait of smug nonchalance. Rather than feeling any relief, Zenigata just felt his panic rising. In his rare attempt at self-preservation, had he inadvertently bluffed Lupin out of whatever connection the other man was trying to establish? Had he blown a rare opportunity, a precious opportunity for human connection?

Or was this- was this just another practiced attempt at manipulation? Tugging on Zenigata's heartstrings didn't work right away so time to pretend to _pretend_ to be smug and over it? Pull some kind of convoluted triple bluff?

Lupin looked like he wanted to say something else. He looked like he wanted to cut and run. The suspicion and anger and panic and fear and confused longing were all reacting while reaching their boiling point in Zenigata's already overheated core.

So before Lupin could say anything, Zenigata spoke up.

"I don't- you know I can never tell if you're fucking with me," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "But on the off chance you aren't fucking with me, Lupin, I- sure. Let's talk about the r-, uh, let's talk about it. I want to talk about it." Then he steeled his gaze down at Lupin like a brave man looking down the barrel of a gun, just fucking daring Lupin to make fun of him for his sincerity.

But Lupin didn't make fun of him. Lupin looked surprised for a moment then he looked warm. He looked happy.

Then the sweet, soft expression passed and his face became more simian and Lupin-like. Then lascivious. His eyes were lidded and the appreciative and hungry look was back.

Uh oh.

Zenigata's core motivations were a search for a sense of human connection, a sense of purpose, of meaning. His insides were a tangled mess aching to resolve themselves, to find peace and belonging and stability. Chasing Lupin was a difficult, sometimes humiliating uphill battle but it was still the closest to what he wanted that he'd ever been able to find.

Lupin's motivations were typically more in the realm of instant gratification, and he "resolved" them quite frequently.

"I like you, Zenigata," he said, now hooking a finger into Zenigata's blazer right above the button and tugging it down a little. "I like your tenacity. I like your big heart. Do you remember that rainy night a few years ago? Up on the rooftop?"

Of course Zenigata fucking remembered it! He remembered it too well, and too often! It drove him insane, it kept him up at night.

But in response he just nodded.

"I meant it when I said I think you're handsome. I wanted to tell you that, too, now that I have you here," said Lupin, tugging down again on Zenigata's blazer, "and ask you if you think I'm handsome, too?"

Of _course_ Zenigata thought he was handsome! How dare he ask that with his nasty little monkey face that Zenigata loved against all of his instincts and against his better judgement. It haunted Zenigata. Seeing Lupin smile, hearing Lupin's laugh made Zenigata's heart race, especially the rare times it wasn't all at Zenigata's expense. The rare, rare moments where their connection wasn't adversarial, or even if it _was_ adversarial it was playfully so and founded on mutual respect and joy. Those moments just before Lupin went and kicked that feeling right in the gut like he always did.

Zenigata could grasp tight onto his fear and his pride and just deny it. Just lie, deny it all. But when he felt like he'd pushed Lupin away earlier it had felt awful, and he knew giving in, if this was real, would feel good. Potentially very good. He was still so afraid but made his mind up. Koichi Zenigata was many things, but he was no coward.

"Yes," he said. Direct, straightforward, unflinching. "I do."

Lupin's smile widened as he leaned in, one arm hugging behind Zenigata's neck for leverage, other hand snaking into Zenigata's blazer. His warm palm pressed gently across Zenigata's shirt over his stomach for support as Lupin shifted his weight and stood up on tiptoe. They weren't quite eye-to-eye, but they were close enough.

"I thought so," said Lupin quietly as he hugged himself even closer, side of his face coming to rest on Zenigata's shoulder, his breath on Zenigata's neck, thumb pressed against Zenigata under his jacket gently moving up and down, tracing circles. "But it's still nice to hear you say it."

Zenigata sighed and leaned his head on Lupin's, about as much a return of affection as he could express with his hands still cuffed. He didn't know what the fuck was happening and he certainly hadn't planned for his day to take this route, but his big gamble earlier had paid off. He had been right. This felt very, _very_ good. It felt even better when Lupin kissed his neck. It felt fucking incredible.

In the past Zenigata would have felt heavy dread as much as he felt thrilled, an arm around his neck like a boa constrictor and a mouth anywhere near it a looming vampire. On many occasions comparing Lupin to a snake or a monster wasn't much of a stretch, and Zenigata, as a mere mortal, had felt the need to be wary and alert.

But right now he just felt so light and so happy.

Then Lupin pulled his whole body away, jumped back, grinned mischievously, and brandished a little key in front of his face, all in one swift, dramatic movement.

It took Zenigata a second to be fully pulled out of the moment, and another second to register what Lupin was holding. A key? Who cares about some key? They were-

Oh. Of course. It was the key to Zenigata's own handcuffs, taken just then from his inside pocket.

"Let's make a deal," said Lupin, flourishing the key around, trying to look impressive but to Zenigata looking like a street vendor trying to sell worthless jewelry to a tourist, or like a magician misdirecting a gullible audience. But Lupin's grin wasn't cruel, and for once Zenigata felt let in on the grift. From Lupin's expression, eyes wild but still playful, this was some kind of new game for the both of them. Maybe with this shift Zenigata could finally admit to himself he found it all a little bit charming. Maybe even as alluring as it was annoying, how quick and playful and tricky and fun Lupin was.

Zenigata felt this way against all of his instincts and against his better judgement, of course.

"I'll give this key back, I'll even unlock you free of charge, my good sir," said Lupin in his best salesman voice, " _if_ you agree not to arrest me today. Or tonight."

"That's it?" asked Zenigata, frowning and raising an eyebrow as he played along.

"No! Of course not," said Lupin bluntly. "That deal would be too good to be true. You'd put us right out of business! Sorry, but you also have to spend the rest of your day with the debonair thief we keep on retainer. And, if you want, the rest of your night, too, as part of the _deluxe_ package."

"Where's this ‘debonair’ thief?” asked Zenigata, doing his best to suppress a smile. “I’d like to see what he has to offer before making any commitments.”

"Oh," said Lupin, choosing to roll with it rather than take the playful jab as an insult, "I can assure you, sir, he's top quality. Many return customers! Five-star reviews across the board."

"I doubt that," said Zenigata, but he was grinning now, his heart racing for an entirely different reason from earlier. Or ever. "Still, though, there are worse ways to spend an afternoon. And my wrists are getting sore."

"An afternoon and an evening, remember, if y-"

"Yes, sure. Don't get ahead of yourself, Lupin," said Zenigata, uncharacteristically bold now that he felt like an accomplice rather than a target, even if the idea of being any kind of accomplice to a thief like Lupin was so against his self-conception, so alien to him.

It was thrilling.

"I've heard this 'debonair' thief is a lecherous little monkey. How about we see how the day plays out before I commit to anything 'deluxe'?"

"You've surely heard wrong, Inspector!" said Lupin. "But I'm also sure he'd be happy to oblige."

Lupin stepped forward.

"So, deal?" he asked.

"You drive a hard bargain!" said Zenigata. "But yes. Deal."

"Excellent!" said Lupin. "I knew you'd-"

"Save the gloating for after you've gotten me out of these fucking handcuffs, Lupin. I wasn't kidding about being sore."

Lupin paused for a moment, giving Zenigata a look as if he was reconsidering his proposal after such a rude interruption, then he laughed and hopped up, using one hand to pull himself up a few feet to dangle off the fence and the other to unlock Zenigata. Before Lupin had a chance to swipe the cuffs, Zenigata's hand shot out and caught his wrist. He rolled his eyes and let go, letting Zenigata take them and the little key back, and he hopped back down, grinning again.

Zenigata pocketed the key but didn't put the handcuffs away like Lupin had expected him to. Then Zenigata's expression was suddenly humorless and his posture went rigid as he looked down at the handcuffs he was holding then back up to Lupin. Several seconds passed and to Lupin's surprise Zenigata kept up his harsh glare. Lupin's smile faded. On instinct he took a step back, though he didn't have anywhere to go without Zenigata having a very clear shot at him.

Lupin was dumbfounded. He'd been so sure his whole plan would work out that he'd told his gang to take the rest of the day off, so he was stuck in an alleyway with no backup. What the hell was Zenigata doing? Had something finally snapped in the old man? Would someone as soft and desperate as him really use an interaction like this to corner and catch Lupin?

Then Zenigata's face broke out into a huge grin and he started laughing, laughed so hard he doubled himself over, laughed so hard he started crying.

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help it, I- you should've seen the look on your fuckin' face, Lupin!" he said, struggling to breathe. It was such a petty trick but after everything Lupin put him through he felt it was deserved. He hadn't even been sure it would work. Maybe Lupin couldn't read him as easily as he'd initially thought.

Lupin pouted. It was rare anyone pulled one over on him without him expecting it, and when it did happen the only person who could usually get him was Fujiko. It hurt his pride to be tricked so easily, especially by Zenigata.

Zenigata saw Lupin was genuinely upset and in response he turned and tossed his cuffs and key into a nearby trash can behind him. Now that Lupin had taken a look at them and how they worked they were useless anyway, and tossing them was an easy and genuine peace offering. Then he slung a big arm across Lupin's shoulders, pulling him to his side, looking down at him warmly.

Lupin crossed his arms across his chest and turned away. But as a few moments passed Zenigata didn't move or say anything, and his big eyes and kind face looming in Lupin's periphery got harder and harder to ignore.

"Okay, okay," said Lupin finally, glaring back up at him, rationalizing his quick concession with the fact that he'd done similar to Zenigata about a million times before, so now they were even. Or marginally closer to even, at least. "I forgive you."

"How noble," said Zenigata. Then his eyebrows went up and his face held a soft grin as he asked, "What's the plan? I assume you didn't go through all this trouble for us to just stand together in an alleyway."

"Oh," said Lupin, grinning back, but not in a way that would be described by anyone as "soft".

"Just you fuckin' wait, old man. Trust me- you're gonna have the time of your life."


End file.
